about me

Has anyone else had that moment where you get in the shower after a long day and realize that…. your face wash is from Curaçao, your body wash from Germany, your scrub from Korea, and the boots and sweater you just took off you got in Chile, the soaked through raincoat was from Scotland, and your earrings you just took out are from American Samoa.  And I don’t mean imported, you actually bought them there. Anyone else? Just me? #worldnomad #cantstoptravelling #souvenirideas #showerepiphanies

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An American in the Rest of the World

Since about four years ago, when my travels finally took me out of North America, I’ve become a weird hodgepodge of customs and terms from the places I’ve visited and the people I’ve known, and so, I’ve written you a little poem.

I’m American by birth (don’t hold it against me!)
But I measure the temperature in Celsius degrees.
I still measure lengths and heights in feet and inches,
but mountains I measure in metres.
I measure my weight in pounds and stones,
and I measure volume in ounces, but also in litres.

My phone is set to 24-hour time,
(when it has power)
I measure distances by kilometers,
but still know the speed limit as miles per hour.

I calculate times zones in my head,
but I never have a clue what is the date.
I know dozens of currencies,
and usually the current exchange rate.

I still say “y’all”,
but also say “jumper”,
I’ll use “elevator” or “lift”,
but I avoid the word “chips” all together.

I can “take” or “make” your photo,
and get Pidgin and Spanglish, si?
But around some people,
I will still be a ‘Grammar Nazi’.

I’ve learned many religions,
even practiced a few,
but at the end of the day you’re most likely to find
me at a theme park or zoo.