Since about four years ago, when my travels finally took me out of North America, I’ve become a weird hodgepodge of customs and terms from the places I’ve visited and the people I’ve known, and so, I’ve written you a little poem.
I’m American by birth (don’t hold it against me!)
But I measure the temperature in Celsius degrees.
I still measure lengths and heights in feet and inches,
but mountains I measure in metres.
I measure my weight in pounds and stones,
and I measure volume in ounces, but also in litres.
My phone is set to 24-hour time,
(when it has power)
I measure distances by kilometers,
but still know the speed limit as miles per hour.
I calculate times zones in my head,
but I never have a clue what is the date.
I know dozens of currencies,
and usually the current exchange rate.
I still say “y’all”,
but also say “jumper”,
I’ll use “elevator” or “lift”,
but I avoid the word “chips” all together.
I can “take” or “make” your photo,
and get Pidgin and Spanglish, si?
But around some people,
I will still be a ‘Grammar Nazi’.
I’ve learned many religions,
even practiced a few,
but at the end of the day you’re most likely to find
me at a theme park or zoo.